yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
