all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
