Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
