Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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