Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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