Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
