So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
