Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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