one two three fourrrrnication!
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
