he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
This is classic penis vs brain.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
