Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You pole danced in your parka.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
