i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
