yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
