she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
