Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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