He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
And then he peed in my hair
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