So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
