He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize