i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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