I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
