Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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