Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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