so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize