We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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