You're a womanizer and a bitch.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
