Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
