dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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