So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
my phone needs a breathalizer
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize