You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
