After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
