just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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