I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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