she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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