You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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