I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
