if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
