I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I lost the right to judge tonight
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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