would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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