Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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