Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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