Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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