He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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