Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
they're like a gay fantastic four
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
