yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
