I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
