I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
