All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
worst night to have a conscience
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Randomize