Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
