no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
