I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I think a kid would responsible me up
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
