Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
