you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
