So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
