Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
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