yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
