My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize