he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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