She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize