So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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