What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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