I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
