You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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