we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
