So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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