I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
