I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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