Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
All the doctor said was why
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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