I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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