And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
