Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I need moral support for this bender
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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